


monsters go bump in the night

by CadetDru



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Canon-Typical Behavior, Consensual Mind Control, Daggers, Discord - Freeform, Dracula Influence/References, Dubious Morality, Familiars, First Time, Human/Vampire Relationship, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Control, Online Friendship, Serial Killers, Serial killing really doesn't come up that much, Slow Burn, Vampires, familiars basically become serial killers, i just find this fact interesting, nosferatu - Freeform, vampires are definitely serial killers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:55:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Camera crew joins Guillermo (and Nandor) for an online fannish viewing of Nosferatu.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Camera Two, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 35
Kudos: 12





	1. glitter

Guillermo was seated at his computer, biting his lip as he switched between different channels.He looked at the camera over his shoulder and remembered to start narrating his life. Camera Two, also known as Cameron in what had been his normal life, was waiting patiently. 

"Part of looking for virgins online has meant just looking for people online, there are a few different online groups I try to stay caught up in.Caught up on.There's a few groups.The local familiars are one.It's mostly just memes and stuff, nothing big. They're all really nice, but no some really want to communicate online."

Guillermo froze, waiting for Colin Robinson to come interrupt with a lecture on internet security and online privacy.When the energy vampire didn't appear, Guillermo continued.

"Then there's just some fandom stuff. Things I like.Things I enjoy watching or listening to or reading and then enjoy talking to other people about.Nothing big, just a few servers dedicated to horror or fantasy shows. Small servers.Nice people."

Guillermo returned his full attention to the computer, browsing quickly through server-wide pings with polls for proposed activities and times."Oh, man, one of the groups is streaming Nosferatu tomorrow night. Actually, Master might like that. We wouldn't even have to take himanywhere."

"Does Nandor like vampire pop culture?" Cameron asked.

"Yeah, he does.He really, really does.It's... you've heard him talk about Twilight, right?"

"Once or twice," Cameron said, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, I like things a little more... realistic.Darker. Bloodier." Guillermo gave the same small smile that he sometimes had when disposing of a body, the kind of serial killer smile thst he had earned over his years of work.

"Nandor doesn't like that in fiction because..." Cameron prompted. Guillermo was still focused on the computer, not Cameron. 

"Because it's his reality," Guillermo finished. "Yeah." Guillermo looked blankly around the room, eyes landing in the glitter portrait that Nandor had made for their tenth familiar anniversary. "The server really liked that picture.They wanted to make it a server emoji but it felt weird to do it without Nandor's consent..."

"Do they know about him? About you?" Cameron asked, moving the camera from the glitter portrait back to Guillermo's face. 

"Oh, no, I am upholding the Masquerade or whatever you'd call it. Nothing but normal people who don't know about real vampires. I mean, there are a few who would probably be knocking down our door just to meet Nadja, and a couple who might've actually met Colin Robinson himself... but they don't know."

"But you could watch the movie with Nandor without them knowing who exactly he is," Cameron said,

"My boss," Guillermo said,

"Well, and he's an actual vampire and they're..."

"Fans of vampires," Guillermo said hesitantly, not quite blushing. "Yeah, no, they'd. They'd probably be cool with it.And I'm sure he can add to commentary.I don't know if we're doing a voice chat or just text... you know what, Nandor will be just text.Because of the linguistic differences.Linguistic drift, that's a thing."


	2. raccoon

Guillermo and Nandor sat on one of the more comfortable couches in the fancy room, the laptop on a table before them.They sat far enough apart that no part of their bodies could potentially touch.The phrase "leave room for the Holy Ghost" bounced around Guillermo's head.He wanted to sit closer to his master.He wanted to hold hands, to put his arm around Nandor or vice versa.He wanted to just be able to relax on the couch, maybe not sit up so straight. 

He couldn't physically relax, but he could mentally relax.He wasn't thinking about work because he was bringing work into his hobbies.He and Nandor did a lot of things together offline, but the idea of being able to interact with others was good too. Guillermo was synced in with his chat server, streaming the movie in the right upperhand corner while watching chat go on. The point was to share the experience with his online friends and with his master, in that order.

He was still fiddling with settings as the movie started, leaning forward but still not close to touching Nandor.

"Guillermo, what are those black boxes that you're clicky clicking all the time?" Nandor said, running his fingers on the back of Guillermo's hand as Guillermo clicked to unspoil someone joking about a character's clothes.

"Those are spoiler boxes that people are using if they've seen it before or if there's some a little R-rated that they want to say and... you know what, yeah, I'll just turn those off so we can see the movie and the chat at the same time."

"I can hardly see the raccoon man," Nandor complained.

"Raccoon man?" Guillermo said, not quite turning his head towards Nandor.

"Raccoon Yula," Nandor said.

Guillermo turned to look at him at that."What."

Nandor didn't answer.

"You know that's Dracula.I'm pretty sure that you know the actual Dracula."

"No, this movie is definitely the first time I've ever heard of that guy."

"That's... I know that's not true."

"Don't people usually have snacks for the cinema?" Nandor asked.

Guillermo could hardly tell Nandor to stop talking.Guillermo was typing away at the chat window, willing to split his attention between the chat and the movie itself.Nandor was officially being ignored.

"What's a monsterfucker?" Nandor said, his voice too close to Guillermo's ear.His lips were over Guillermo's neck. Nandor didn't like being ignored, Nandor had asked for a snack, and now he was basically asking for Guillermo to give a justification for his own desires. 

"Oh, god," Guillermo moaned. The camera crew was still in the room and the movie was playing and Nandor was not, in fact, coming onto him but he couldn't stop thinking that.

"GUILLERMO!" Nandor snapped.

"Sorry, Master?" Guillermo said meekly.

"Don't use foul language like the G-word," Nandor chided, almost teasingly. "Now tell me what this monsterfucker means."

Guillermo looked at the camera crew, who were definitely not smirking st him. "It's a person who wants to fuck a monster, Master. Just...words."

"And people are finding this shaved rat raccoon man--" Nandor said.

"--Dracula," Guillermo interrupted.

"People find this man attractive? Even though he is not reaching out to them through the ether?" Nandor scoffed. His voice got quieter. "I wouldn't have to try so hard to hypnotize if I could be this kind of monster."

"You could try," Guillermo suggested, really not paying attention. "You're partway there, but it couldn't hurt."

"Begone!" Nandor shouted at the camera crew, who left the room in the usual slow shuffle. "Vampire-victim conversation only."

The door closed behind the crew as Guillermo said "wait, what?"


	3. disconnect

Guillermo was seated alone on the couch, eyes focused on the movie playing. He was not Renfield, but nervous laughter was threatening to erupt from his closed lips.

Nandor had shooed the camera crew out. Guillermo was holding onto what seemed to be a polite fiction that he and Nandor were just watching a movie through the stream with Guillermo's friends.

"Guillermo, pause the movie," Nandor commanded.

"It's actually playing at someone else's house so I can't pause it."

"Guillermo, ignore the movie," Nandor said, putting a little extra reverb into his voice with his own particular talents.

Guillermo moved jerkily, closing the laptop. "Yes, Master."

"These monster fucking friends of yours," Nandor started.

"That's really not..." Guillermo protested, not sure where he could draw the line. 

"Do you approve of that kind of thing?"

Guillermo froze. "Master, I have been in your service for years now. I absolutely approve of the monster fucking desire of any consenting adult and the unbelievably old monster of their choice."

"And would you have one of them come to be my meal?"

Guillermo cringed. His friends, his master, his right: no one was going to take his spot, no more than they already had. "I have done many things to prove just how far I am willing to go for you, Master."

"To become a vampire," Nandor said, darkly. 

"That too," Guillermo said, words coming quicker than he could stop them. He wasn't Renfield. He was going to be a vampire. If he was anyone, he was Harker. He was Lucy. He was anyone else. He wasn't just a mindless servant. He wasn't just a meal either. 

Nandor was looming over Guillermo, but that was his default state of wakefulness. He loomed like a human would have breathed. "I'm not compelling you," he said.

"Master?" Guillermo said.

"I was... I am going to compel you, use my hypnotism to make you tell me the truth."

Guillermo leaned back, slumped forward, curled in on himself. "Whatever you think is best, Master." 

"If I asked you to find me a partner, someone for me to bed, someone that I could defile, would you do it?"

Guillermo didn't meet Nandor's eyes, didn't look at his clenched hands, didn't look at anything. He just listening to the rush of blood in his ears, felt the pulse in his neck, the warmth on his cheeks. All that movement would be stilled if and when Nandor ever gave him what he'd been asking for.

"What if I asked for you?" Nandor said, aloud but through the ether as well, the question winding its way around Guillermo.

Guillermo looked up at his master, lips parted and ready to shout. Nandor was toying with him, offering him what he'd been waiting for, what had kept him hanging around for years and years. It wasn't like Nandor to be direct, but Guillermo didn't know if he could use the ether in any other way. "I would say yes. Because you're my Master." Guillermo let his gaze fall back on the closed laptop. "And because I would want to. I really want to."

"Right," Nandor said, both bright and dark at once. 


	4. doorway

Guillermo reached towards the laptop to reopen it. "So, did you want to watch the movie?"

Nandor slapped the top of the computer to keep it closed, applying too much pressure. Guillermo couldn't afford to replace it. The fear that he knew he was showing on his face had everything to do with his lack of funds.

"Get up," Nandor said. His instruction went straight to Guillermo's legs. It seemed stronger than Nandor's hypnotism usually was. Guillermo stood, immediately took a step to get away from the table, away from his computer snd anything thst he might care about breaking. This meant he was edging towards the door.

He blinked, and Nandor wasn't standing in front of him any more. Guillermo didn't think he was alone in the room, but he didn't want to look around for his master. He didn't want to move at all.

The lock in the door clicked. Furniture scraped. Guillermo didn't want to turn around and see what was going on. He wasn't scared of what Nandor might want to do to him, just that he might be disappointed again.   
  
The rustling of fabric behind him let Guillermo know that Nandor was near again. There was an arm reaching around his waist, brandishing a dagger in front of him. There were enough of those around the room but usually sheathed and on a haphazard display.

"Is this what you want, what your friends want?" Nandor said directly into Guillermo's ear. His beard, so perfectly maintained by Guillermo, was brushing against Guillermo's neck. "Some monster to ravish and ravage you?"

"Fuck yes," Guillermo said. This was exactly what he'd signed up for. "Please," he added.

Nandor pulled Guillermo closer to him, one hand around Guillermo's wrist as the other hand slashed at Guillermo's palm with the knife. He spun Guillermo around to face him as the dagger fell to the ground. Nandor's tongue was on Guillermo's palm before Guillermo could process the slightest bit of what was going on.

Nandor was taking Guillermo's blood. He was holding Guillermo's hand up to lave the wound that he'd created. Nandor glanced at Guillermo's face and frowned at what he saw there.

There was a flash of fabric moving, a whirlwind of movement that ended with Guillermo pressed against what had to be the door. Nandor was scowling now. "What do you want, Guillermo?"

"You," Guillermo said. "I want you. Since I first met you. Just... I know you can be this, I want you to be this, please."

"You want me, like this?" The smile that Nandor gave him was inhuman and unholy, was the beginning of the baring of teeth of a wild creature. Nandor was sighting his food. Guillermo lifted his head just a little, tilted his neck just a little. He barely knew that he was doing it. "You know what I could do to you, and you still want to tell me how to take you?"

There was no right answer, so Guillermo went with the honest one. "Please."

Nandor pushed harder against Guillermo. "Even if I just took what I want from you, drained you of some of your blood, left you alive to take the bloodstains out of the floor?"

"Yes," Guillermo said. He could feel a fog settling into his mind. "Please, Master. Take me."

The fog receded as Nandor pulled away. "Let's finish the movie," he said, sitting on the couch and opening the laptop again.

Guillermo moved away from the door which opened behind him, the camera crew coming through. They'd ask him about what happened later. Guillermo picked up the dagger still streaked with his blood and set it down next to the laptop. He felt...groggy.

"It's not over yet," Nandor said, to the camera, to Guillermo. There were flecks of blood in his beard. "The good guy can still win."

"The good guy being Harker?" the camera operator asked.

A light-hearted smile froze on Nandor's face. "No."


	5. stain

The movie was done. Guillermo did some light post-viewing chatting with the group while Nandor gave his opinion on the movie to the camera crew. Nandor was gesturing with the knife. The cut on Guillermo's palm stung as he typed, the only reminder of the bizarre interlude.

"That man didn't cut himself deliberately to entice the vampire," Nandor said. The camera crew was gone, it was just the two of them again.

Guillermo tried to find his balance in the conversation. "Oh, Harker, no. It always seems to work better when they're not trying."

"I think you try too hard, Guillermo," Nandor chided softly.

Guillermo breathed in through flared nostrils, out through parted lips. "Too hard," he said without managing to put any of that wasted breath into the words. He cleared his throat. "I try--"

"I'll retire early tonight," Nandor said. "Your human monsterfucker movie has bored me. Everything here bores me."

"Yes, Master," Guillermo said. He signed off of chat, closed the laptop, and followed behind his master.

Nandor had more conversation with the camera crew, shooing them out of his crypt. Guillermo settled into their routine, helping Nandor take layer after heavy layer of brocade and crushed velvet.

"Careful, Guillermo!" Nandor snapped. He grabbed Guillermo's wrist as Guillermo touched another garment. "You'll bleed all over my things and then there will be so much laundering for you to do."

"You cut me," Guillermo said dully.

"Remember," Nandor intoned in his best hypnotic voice. 

"I remember," Guillermo said. "I want you because you could hypnotize me, not because you have hypnotized me."

"But you do want me," Nandor said. "You want me to have my way with you. You want me to bleed you and make you whimper and take my pleasure from you."

Guillermo licked his lips, swallowed nothing in particular, and nodded. He straightened the clothing he'd already removed from Nandor, reached for the next layers out of sheer habit. "Please, Master."

Nandor fell upon him, fangs digging into the coursing blood in Guillermo's neck as Nandor's fingers dug into the plush expanse of Guillermo's ass. Nandor didn't say anything aloud, but the impressions of his experience of the evening flooded Guillermo's senses. Nandor didn't know what he was and was not allowed but he seemed determined to try. He stripped off Guillermo's own clothes, letting them just fall to the floor. 


	6. swoon

Guillermo didn't swoon. He had arranged for others to swoon before, made the conditions just right so that they would fall under the thrall of his master. He'd never done it himself, not from any kind of directly supernatural influence. He felt light-headed, like every thought he'd had was being replaced by Nandor's. Instead of it being him anticipating what Nandor might want, trying to make himself think like Nandor and then translate it to practical applications.

He was standing, just barely, as Nandor stripped him. He could hear the sounds of fabric straining, what might have been seams ripping. He couldn't think about that. He could only think what Nandor wanted him to think. Nandor wanted Guillermo to hold onto the idea that this was what Guillermo wanted, that he wanted to feel Nandor so closely against him. 

"Your body is mine," Nandor said, fingertips like claws as they worked off Guillermo's pants. 

"My body is yours," Guillermo repeated back. Nandor's hands were still working into the swell of Guillermo's backside. "Please, Master."

"Yes?" Nandor said, leaning in to kiss Guillermo's lips for what couldn't have been the first time. "What do you beg of your master?"

"Let me touch you, let me see you," Guillermo said. Those words couldn't have been anything but his own. Nandor almost definitely wanted Guillermo to beg, but not like that. Guillermo knew him better than that.

Nandor moved quicker than Guillermo could track, whether it was because he was human or under Nandor's highly specific thrall. There were specific details that he knew. He was naked, his flushed body pressed against the hard exterior of Nandor's coffin. The surface was too smooth and too cold to offer any relief or release to Guillermo's arousal. Nandor was heavy on his back, seeming to be wearing only a loose night shirt. The fabric gave a little more friction than the coffin did, but it wasn't in the right place. 

Nandor was tracing his fingers along Guillermo's inner thighs, swirling something --oil?-- in intricate patterns that could have just been Nandor writing his own name. Guillermo tensed himself, ready for Nandor's fingers to reach higher and further. Instead, Nandor's cold hands were gradually warmed by Guillermo's trembling thighs. 

"Master?" Guillermo said. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Nandor flew into a frenzy around him. His teeth sank into Guillermo's shoulder as one of his hands wrapped around Guillermo's cock. Guillermo gasped as he felt Nandor's own cock now thrust between Guillermo's oiled thighs. As Nandor rutted against Guillermo, his cock nearly came against his hand holding Guillermo's own. They were wrapped together more intimately than Guillermo could've imagined, a careful orchestration. Nandor was growling into Guillermo's flesh, not trying to take any more blood out but just using his shoulder to muffle himself. He wasn't making a single sound, just managing to elicit the most obscene and blood-curdling sounds out of Guillermo's body. 

Through the fog, Guillermo felt he could hear Nandor still, repetitions of "mine" over and over, in time with the thrusts. Nandor's hand and cock were in time, driving Guillermo on. Guillermo found himself coming into Nandor's clenched fist. Nandor immediately moved his now sticky hand to the side of Guillermo's hip before quickly coming himself between Guillermo's thighs. 

The frantic movement stopped. Nandor unstuck his jaw from Guillermo's flesh, licking where he'd bitten and muttering something quiet. The fog cleared, the ether dissipated. Nandor was leaning against Guillermo, hands all but glued to his hips. Nandor was both holding Guillermo upright and collapsing over him. They were standing, naked, but leaning against the coffin. 

Guillermo caught his breath and came back to himself. "Master?" he said.

"You'll need to clean this up," Nandor said hoarsely. There was no physiological reason for him to be hoarse. "Not yet." He curled his fingers into Guillermo's hip.

"Thank you, Master."

"Fucking guy," Nandor muttered. He lazily nipped at Guillermo's neck, just under his ear. "You don't thank monsters."

Guillermo couldn't say that he didn't think Nandor was a monster. He just continued to submit to his vampire's embrace.


	7. washing

Guillermo was used to cleaning himself up after thinking about his Master fucking him. He was not used to the aftermath of blood on his neck and come on hip and thighs. He drew a bath for himself and Nandor, not knowing who was taking it first. Nandor stood and waited, an unclean robe draped over his unclean frame. He was so fastidious normally, Guillermo assumed the drying proof of their deeds was offending him. Unless it was proof of what he'd done, of what he possessed.

"Is the water at a good temperature for you?" Nandor asked.

Guillermo dipped his fingers into the tub. "Yes, Master."

"Then get in." Nandor waved his hand.

Guillermo obeyed without thinking. He was sore, he was sticky, he needed to soak and scrub until he felt human again. He let out a groan as the water took him over.His legs were all but stuck together. He waited to see if the bath itself would help dissolve or dislodge the quantity of vampire come stuck on him.

"Technically," Nandor said. He stopped, drifted closer to the tub, and started again. "Technically, you are still a virgin."

"That doesn't count?" Guillermo asked in disbelief. 

"You serve at your master's pleasure," Nandor said. "That wasn't about you, was it?"

"Well, yeah, that's always been the point." Guillermo waved his hand towards a washcloth on the sink. 

Nandor handed him the cloth without complaint. "What was done, snd what I will allow you to remember, is that it doesn't count, and you are a virgin," Nandor said. "And no monsterfucker."

"You have a very narrow definition of fucking," Guillermo said, blushing as he moved his legs in the tub to scrub them raw.

Nandor was watching Guillermo carefully, go so far as to hand another washcloth over unasked. "I won't dispute your internet friends and how they define monsters."

"If I ever told them, which I won't, I'm sure they'd be thrilled. There's amazing material here for a slow burn."

Nandor's eyes glowed."When you have cleaned yourself, you will clean me. Fresh water for my bath, thank you."

"Yes, Master," Guillermo said. He held his hand out for another washcloth to apply to his bite marks. 

"You will then help me retire to my coffin, and ensure there are no stains on my coffin."

"Yes, Master," Guillermo said.

"And then at dusk, if you and I are both up for it, you'll lose your virginity."

"Yes, please, Master," Guillermo said, mouth catching the words faster than his brain could process them. "You mean... you mean you and me, right? I don't want..."

"Yes," Nandor said darkly.

"You really mean..." Guillermo's mouth went dry. "Yes, alright, fine, that's...fine.That's a plan."

"Good," Nandor said. He smiled, a much smaller and shyer smile on his face.


End file.
